ff7 meet jerry springer
by crimson queens
Summary: Tiffa is invited to confess her love for cloud on jerry springer and all hell brakes loose.


Ok peoplez just so you know this is just a heap of random randomness. Hehe I like random stuff. Umm…I don't own any of the characters accept the ones in the audience that yell out various profanitys and insults. Well enjoy.

Audience: jerry, jerry, jerry…

Jerry: thank you, thank you, it's great to be here in beautiful reads from sheet…Midgar

cricket chirps

Random audience member: Beautiful!

Jerry: ok fine it's the ugliest stink hole I've ever been in are ya happy?

Random audience member: yes, yes I am. laughs maniacly

Jerry:raises eye brow riiight… Well today's theme is love confessions. And our first confessor is Tiffa of AVALANCHE. Tiffa come on down.

Price is right lawyer: er um I gotta sue ya for that sir.

Jerry:…get out.

lawyer :No I am here to see revealing cat fights and vicious punch ups.

Tiffa walks on stage

Jerry: so Tiffa what is your love confession?

Tiffa: well jerry im here to tell cloud that I am deeply in love with him

Jerry: whispers well duh.

Tiffa: hmm? Did you say something?

Jerry: no of course not whispers ya dumb skank.

Tiffa: what did you say?

Jerry: oh nothing I was just talking to myself whispers stupid hoe.

Tiffa: ok I definitely heard that.

Jerry:…no you didn't.

Tiffa: yes I did. You called me a stupid hoe!

Jerry: sweat drop…no I didn't.

Vincent: yes you did

Jerry: you and your super natural senses can stay outta this!

Vincent:…no.

Jerry: GRRRRRRRRrrrrrrr!steams

Yuffie:VIIIIIIINNNNNNNYYYYYYYY!runs into VincentJumps up and down hyperactively

Tiffa: oh no. Yuffie I told you not to eat anything that's red.

Yuffie: I didn't. the stuff I ate was brown and powdery. jumps up and down

Vincent: yuffie that was coffee.

Yuffie: coffee, coffee, coffee, coffee, coffee, coffee, YAY!...

Vincent: Oh look something shiny! points out side

Yuffie: where!

Vincent: umm… in Watai

Yuffie: then to Watai I go!

yuffie runs out door to Watai

Tiffa: now where were we?

Jerry: it doesn't matter now lets get on with the show. Cloud, come on down.

Lawyer: you now owe me 2 million gil.

Jerry: deep dangerous voice get out.

Lawyer: timid voiceok sneaks out.

Jerry:glares burning death at retreating lawyer.

Tiffa: umm…can you hurry up and host the goddamn show already!

Jerry: ok, cloud, will you get your fat ass out here.

Cloud: sniff I have a fat ass?

Tiffa: no of corse not you ass is beautiful, and plus no one pays attention to it because they're busy looking at your wacky hair.

Cloud: What's wrong with my hair!

Jerry: whispers everything.

Vincent:cracks up

Cloud: whats so funny?

Vincent: still laughingevery thing hahahaha is hehe wrong with your haha hair.

Cloud: fuming take that back.

Vincent: NEVER MWAHAHAHAHAH!gets crash talked by cloud.

Cloud: punches Vincent I SAID TAKE THAT BACK!

Vincent: and I said NEVER!bites cloud.

Tiffa: guys please calm down, there is no reason to resort to violence.

Cid: Tiffa your so fing stupid. You don't need a reason for violence.

Barret: yeah da fool is right fo once.

Cid: bring it on fer!

Barret: see.

Tiffa: meh.

yuffie has returned from Wati with a bald man with a shiny head

Yuffie: viny viny viny I found the shiny thingy viny. sees Vincent's claw, Vincent's shiny claw

Yuffie: OOOooooOO shiny!clings to Vincent's claw

Vincent: what the!

Cloud: Yuffie! In case you haven't noticed I am trying to turn Vincent in too many tiny conveniently sized pieces here!

Vincent: exactly, you are "trying".

Cloud: GRRRR….

Jerry: please calm down we only have 4 minutes of air time left!gets impaled by the venus gospel that was aimed for Barret AARRRGGGG herrrr nYYUUIUUUUdies dramaticly

Cid : now look what you made me do! Ya shoulda just stayed there and been Fing hit.

Barret: yo are da one dat through it!shoots at Cid

aeris appears out of no were and floats on to the stage

Aeris: good friends have I not taught you the meaning of love and kindness and AHHHHHH!gets talked by tiffa

Tiffa:punches aeris repeatedly why wont you just die! I payed Sephiroth all that money too kill you and you came back to life!

Jerry: OOOoooOO Sephiroth ay? Sephiroth come on down.

Lawyer: ill see you I court…wait…didn't you die?

Jerry: didn't you leave?

Lawyer: you didn't say anything about returning.

Jerry: well go away and never come back.

Lawyer: no

Jerry: yes

Lawyer: no!

Jerry: yes!

Lawyer: NO!

Jerry: YES!shoots lawyer

Lawyer: gahagaha splutter splutter what a world what a world Im melting!dead

Jerry: )smoothes back hair and fixes gassers

Jerry: sephiroth.

Sephiroth: peeks around curtain and sees the huge crowd Eeep!runs away

Jerry: Riiight…well I guess we aren't going to be talking with Sephiroth.

Vincent: Yuffie will you get off!

Yuffie: NOOOOO! I need the shiny thingy to live, to leave its side would cause me to loose what little sanity I have left!

Vincent:shoots Yuffie)

Tiffa: hey why didn't I think of that?takes the death penalty and shoots Aeris)

Aeris:dead

Cloud: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!breath OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

Tiffa: o oh.

Cloud goes nuts and kills everyone the end

Nanaki: And the world mightiest saviors were brought to their doom by nothing more than a crapy reality show, proving that all AHHHHHis impaled by the ultima weapon

Cloud: hehe.

Sephiroth: nicely done.

Well I don't know about you but I think I was a bit all over the place. See random. Well please r and r. but be nice cause I haven't done one of these rip off thinys before.


End file.
